peanut + pepper = love ever after

I arrived home very thankful that at last a long day was finally over. The midterms is one week away, causing our professors to pressure us with projects dated to impossible deadlines. If only I can tear my body into two. If only I have a twin. If only I have either a brother or sister to help me. Being an only child sucks bigtime.

I watched the news few minutes ago and found out that,...(breathes heavily)
that HEATH LEDGER IS ALREADY DEAD. Omfg! I dunno how to react at first.
I mean, I'm not really a fan though, but I do admire his acting skills. He's such a great talent, so young and has so much to offer. Its just so disheartening to lose someone like him. It totally breaks my heart. OMG. Too bad.

As for me, my hopes and dreams about Gabby is now slowly fading. The scenes of our romantic sunsets together with momentarily holding of hands are now starting to lose clarity within my head. Yet his expressive eyes and rose red lips still fascinates me. (Gee, this is so fuckin' cheezy!)

The point is, I am so willing to get rid of him because it is pointless to still like him.

I feel like a fucking retard. I've been looking for the Schindler's List DVD I've borrowed from Karen since this morning. I even had a tantrum and cried so hard until my eyes sore, only to find out that I've already given it back to Karen. Fucking - .  Silly me. *

Oh btw. My Sweeney Todd weekend was postponed and Karen rescheduled our day out for next week. Its gonna be Ruins day! Wohhoo!

I need to finish my schoolworks tonight.

(no subject)
I'm confused right now. I feel like almost killing myself even though I don't want to. There are times where I just find myself in deep thought. Wherein I indulge myself in a thinking of whether I should do things or not. And now, I find myself on an identity crisis. Its like after everything I've done with myself, my life..seems like I don't know who I really am anymore. Its not the teenage angst kind of thing. Besides I'm not even on the edge of rebellion. I'd rather sit down and think about it for hours rather than talk about it to other people or even wirte it down. Nobody can help me get through this except myself.
I just hope I get over this easily as the foundation week is over and the classes will go back to usual this coming Monday.


I got 90 in logic. Can you fucking believe that? I think I just won it bigtime. Haha:)
Its a good news that came unexpectedly. I'm glad it shocked me. Hey, it feels good to be shocked.

Tommorrow is the start of the preparation for the upcoming foundation day. Our class will be performing the HAKA DANCE of New Zealand for the field demo. Goody, I just hope I don't mess the dance. We don't have classes tommorrow, we're not supposed to. I assume that we'll practice for the whole day or so.

We chilled so much at school today. Us, the Bogers, sat and talked and kept our butts breathless for most of the time.

I was surprised to find my secret note again. Its a post-it note that I left hidden behind a tree's branch, somewhere in our campus. And I remembered about it earlier this morning, so I decided to check it out. I thought its already gone or that somebody have found it already but as I took a good look deep inside. There it was. I wrote this the time I used to hate my crush so much. And yes, I hated JJ before. 


 Okay, i just can't wait until 2008 comes. I miss school already. Everything about it. I want to make a good start out of the new year. I've got plans of rearranging my room and my life. And ofcourse, make more plans. Attainable goals and realistic plans. Hah. Sounds good? gawd, i hope i can do it and not screw things up. I'm so not a fan of new year's resolutions. I'm only after starting the year by simply eradicating bad habits, that's all. Hope it works. 

Wut? wut?
So far, I've dumped out things I don't think I will be needing anymore. Some books and childish trash out from above the hanging cabinets. What a mess it was. Tomorrow I'm up for my closet. The closet, which has always been a nightmare and a not so pretty scenery. I SWEAR I'LL TRY MY VERY BEST TO KEEP THOSE DAMN CLOTHES ORDERLY FROM NOW ON. 

I haven't been updating my music files lately. Haven't been checking out music news too. I wonder what's new?
Its been a long time since the last time I've visited band websites and stuff. Gee, I'm starting to sound boring.

jamie lynn spears is pregnant. i've known it since the news broke out. but it just shocked me right at this very moment. she's a waste like britney. but hey, there's a baby on the way.

i'm just a plain-looking girl. but i'm more than what you think i am.

Okay. Okay.

This day had been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I can say that I've been pretty much my second self again: the insane bitch. Gawd. I laughed so hard and talked shit a lot today. Grabe.

Guess wot? Kanina nung Chemistry time nasa AVR kami. Biglang pinataas ni Danilo yung braso ko, tapos nilagay niya yung isang rubber band. Hell no. It might just be a rubber band. A plain and ordinary rubber band. But since it came from Dan Longno? i consider it priceless. I think I'll keep it for awhile.

Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng discussion about subordinates. I suppose it was about that. Haha. I forgot. Biglang sinabi ni Naomi na, "Mommy! Si JJ!!". And yes, there he is, walking down the corridor and has just walked past our seat on our room. Naomi suggested putting up a note on my post-it tapos ibibigay niya or i-wewave niya kapag dumaan si JJ. But I changed plans. I wrote: "hi JJ". 

I walked out of the room and nervously stuck it sa floor ng corridor along our room.
I wasn't looking while he passed, coz I don't want to look so obviously desperate like a fucking obsessive bitch. So I didn't see exactly how he stopped when he saw my note. But Eliza said that some guy walking along the corridor stopped and picked up the note on the floor. Surely, she was referring to the note that I wrote. I wonder how JJ felt when he saw my note. Coz I saw him smile a bit as he went his way until I can no longer see him eh. *SUH-WEET*

Grabe. I didn't know I can do that. Na-shock talaga ako sa ginawa ko. 

And nakita ko siya three times. Una dun sa canteen before English class. While english class. Tapos after ng Math time. HAH. Nag-CR  pa sya. Ang iniisip ko lang, wala siyang dala na bag! Ang bag niya nasa chowking area. Wala na silang class that time. Why the hell would he use the CR at the 2nd floor naman diba? Damn. I'm sure he was looking for me. I'm damn sure of that. Nakita ko siya papaals na san kami ng classrum nun. I was standing behnd the wall between the door and the window nung bigla siyang dumaan. I FUCKING SAW HIM. His eyes was looking towards many directions as if he is looking for somebody. And I saw him. I dunno if he saw me. I guess not. But i don't effin care if he did.

Grabe. Lahat ng bodily reactions that we've discussed sa Psychology?
I'm not over-exaggerating ha? true. I almost felt all of those reactions.
Due to emotional excitement, my sweat glands innervated. Bumilis yung heart rate ko. My respiration disrupted. Not quite sure f my pupils dilated or if it constricted. My mouth dried. My muscles got tense. I had goose pimples. My guts churned. OMFG, my glands. my glands.

I don't get it. I don't understand why the hell am I feeling this way.
I feel like a fucking retard.
You're driving me crazy.

Send him secret notes. Pique his curiosity. You know, use that thing called pen and paper and a few post-it notes. You will drive him mad playing a secretive admirer.

JAY JAY FUCKING CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i still have his number on my called id's list!
where did he got my number? who gave it to him? i need to know so i can kill whoever that bastard is!!!

he called! he talked to me! he so did!
can you believe that?
i'm not being so sarcastic or pointy of the situation, its just that i'm  just so shocked!
traumatized!! whatever!

he's such a cutie. is he playing on me? whatthafuck! it isso not funny.
i like him earlier this morning. i so did. he's so cute and all.
but now?! now that he shoves his face directly on me? no fuckin way! no fuckin way!
i don't even want to see him again!
because of shame and all! 

I don't know what i'm gonna do! I need long bangs tomorrow! so i can cover up my face from deep shame!
I bet he'll tell Neil too! oh shit oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!

Screw you!

school doesn't suck that much though...
School is a binary system: can be enchanting or pissing. On my current status,academically,  I can say that I'm doing & feeling quite good of how things are going. Like totally. That is school's primary function. But let us not forget the fact that upon going to school. Not only do you learn new knowledge, but you are also able to mingle with mammals that belong on the same specie but acts different from one another. There goes the geeks, there goes the bastards, those are the bitches, those are witches. Get what I mean? Well good for me because my blockmates are still easy to deal with. And they are so normal there's almost no variation from each other. Thus, there is less adventure. I wonder how it feels to take the risk and lead life surrounded by wild animals with different personalities.

Chemistry went fine except for the partial yet tiring confusion of whether where to have the class. Ms. Asino was out today. The substitute prof only took the attendance. The reason is because absence of internet connection, which is why the hand-outs cannot be printed. I enjoyed yet another day with Ms. Jusay. Thank heavens, I so love her humor.

Just as everything have been going out fine. A bitch strikes and enters the vicinity of my serene & peaceful outlook for the day. Okay, I don't mean it like she's a super bad-ass bitch like woah. But yeah, come on, she is such a flirt. And flirting is a big sin based from my dictionary. I, so as my dear friends, do not practice that verbial term. And all the others who engage on such bitchy act are considered bitches. So here's the deets: she flirts, she finds way to talk to him in any way possible (see how desperate she is), she provokes her to let him kiss her (duh), she sits on my seat when in fact her proper seat is located 3 rows away from the front. But as expected, all bitches are indeed attractive. I wouldn't be surprised if the day comes that they finally hook up or whatnot. *prays for that to not happen*

I dunno. For now, I only know one thing. I don't like her. Not that I have a crush on the guy. But because the dear bitch has something against being a filipina. A prim and proper young lady. Flirting excluded. 

beauty products?

Mary Kay is the best.
I love the new Bella Belara perfume.


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