peanut + pepper = love ever after


Lots of things, both good and bad, have happened to me this year. 365 days of adventures and misadventures. Some I have dutifully discussed here and others left unsaid.

1. I turned seventeen.
--> The second most sweet-sounding number in my list, next to eighteen. I don't know if I've grown
mature enough to even be seventeen. There are times when I feel like I'm still eleven,.sometimes even younger.

2. I've made a clear choice. And I've chosen to become a Nurse.
--> Life-changing?! I don't know. For now, I'll go along the gravel path and see where it takes me.
Surely, I'll be burning my eyebrows and sore my eyes and work my butt off for this course. But who cares?

3. I lost my one yr. old cellphone.
--> The hell with the guy who took it. I wonder why I just can't forgive and forget. Maybe because I know
that everyone has a choice. One can either do the right or wrong thing. If he really needed money, he could've just worked his ass off. Like work as a kargador in the talipapa or something. Or if he's really desperate, be a callboy or something. Or better yet, to sound less sinful..he might as well could've just collected scraps and garbage, recycled those shit..and turned it to something more useful. That way he could make himself useful, earn money and save the world. BUT NO. He chose to be the fucking lazy bad guy. He'd chosen to become the evil one. He stole my fuckin phone. BLESS HIS SOUL.

4. I've fallen in and out of love for "he who must not be named"
--> Not really in love. Those are big, italicized, boldly-emphasized words. Let's just say he'd charmed me. In ways I never imagined was possible, he has charmed me. He'd cast his spell on me and made me sick of thinking about him for about 90% of my days. Of the days that I was madly fond of him, that is. The thing is, now that the year is over and I'm spending my holidays idly, I'm starting to learn how to fight random emotional breakdowns. I hope I can just leave this shithole off my chest away with 2008. The hole is mending its way now. It grows smaller and smaller and less painful each passing day.


5. TWILIGHT: I read the books, watched the movie, and got stuck to Jacob Black.
--> The drama. I guess If I wasn't feeling this way towards Stan, I would probably not appreciate the story at all. Its the complications about the Jacob/Bella relationship that got me hooked. Somehow, I can relate to Jacob. No, not somehow. I can definitely relate to him. Not that I'm a werewolf or that I'm Quileute. Its his love for Bella..and how she loves him but that love just couldn't be enough. Oh God, I don't know.

And did I mention liking the movie too? even though it didn't apply to my expectations. The shirtless James, the hot Peter Facinelli, the adorable Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black, Rosalie claiming Emmett is her monkeyman, Bella being a pathetic, whiny pig. Haha. Oh well. La la la.

6. I had a shot of tequilla and few drinks of what was it? I forgot.
--> Hell yeah. I kinda drank a few shots. Steph got a little demanding during her birthday.

7.  I, we, got a NEW car.
--> A BMW 316i. A sweet car.

8. Xia-xia died.
--> The most heartbreaking drama of 2008. I will never forget her.

9. Mom reached her menopausal stage. (this should have only been minor..)
--> The mood swings is getting into my nerves.

10. I've cut my hair.
--> When I mean CUT. It means the whole fucking thing. Earnest, indeed. See it for yourself. The biggest transformation. The most unnerving headline of the year.The thing that lolled the shit out of all the people who knew me. Surely, the 'kim with the big, wild, crazy, grungy, hair' has now decreased into 'kim with the crazy hair'. And I don't know If I made the right decision considering the aesthetic purposes. But I'm sure loving the advantage of not wearing the whole weight of the shitloads of buzzy wires in my head.


car problems. wth.

The car won't fuckin start. Darn! I tried sticking the key over and over again on the ignition..but the damn car won't fuckin start! And there's something wrong with the automatic keylock system, I even got locked up inside the damn car. Good thing I've read the manual and read that part on the anti-theft lock system shit.

Hah. I wish I have Jacob Black with me to look after the car. Ya know, check it up for some prob and stuff.  He knows how to handle technicalities. Ugh.

Things to do:
- Re-read Sophie's World & finish Breaking Dawn.
- Watch Pineapple Express on DVD.
- Listen to James Morrison's album. Make a review.
- Read the SPIN magazine with Kings of Leon on the cover.
- Eat the christmas left-overs.
- Wash my dirty linens before New Year' s day.


au revoir.

Yesterday, it occurred to me that there are some things in this world that are not meant to stay forever.

Death is inevitable.
Yet it is more peaceful and easier than living.

My beloved friend, Xia-xia, has died.
I found her lifeless feline corpse in fron of Kevin's house,.under their white car. She died but nobody killed her. I'm sure of that. The tumor in her left eye might have caused the deterioration of her health. I should've seen it coming.

Where do cats go in their afterlife? Do they go to heaven or hell, too? Coz' if that's the case then Xia-xia would probably on her way to heaven's gate by now. She's probably the most adorable and sweetest cat I've ever had. I'm sure the Cat God will welcome her in their kingdom. She's a good cat. I should know.

Karen and I dug for a cozy little place Xia-xia can call her grave. The location: Karen's place.

Surely, This Christmas and New Year will guarantee a lack. This will be the first time I'll be celebrating it without Xia-xia since I got her in 99.

The truth is hard to accept. More difficult to swallow. Its hard to forget. Though I don't find it necessary to.

Tags: ,

I cried when he got near me. And I covered my face in shame. He walked away confused. Probably wondering why I cried without any reason at all. Well I do have a reason. I like him so much that I hate him. His presence overwhelms me. I don't know how to act properly when he is around. I get tongue-tied. I get shivers running down my spine. I'm afraid...I like him too much.

sunday. sundae.

Morning came and I still did not watch rage b'coz I slept fuckin late last night. And I slept in Mom's room which explains why I dozed off like there's no tomorrow. Haha:]

We went to St. Andrew's to hear the mass and for the first time I didn't actually felt sleepy the whole time. There was this cute little girl,in the seat in front of us, who played with me. Not to mention that there are indeed shitloads of babies inside the church. They're just all so cute I can't help but stare at them. Waahh. Babies are killing me. They're just so cute. Oh so cute.

I paid for our lunch at Inihaw's. And I hope that's enough reason to not feel guilty about me being broke right now. I totally am. The remaining money is what I used to pay off for my new umbrella-ella. Its a black one with white stripes on it. Wait, let me repeat that. Haha. White Stripes on it. Literally.
And when I say I'm broke? I really am.

picciesCollapse )


Then we went window shopping. While we were in Itti, I saw Ate Anna and Andrei so I rushed to them and left Mommy. Oh my, Andrei is the sweetest kid ever. When I bent down and greeted him, he hugged me immediately. So sweet. And he's uberly cute too. Ahh. Ate Anna told me she's pregnant for 1 month and I told her that's good. Which is true. I think pregnancy is beautiful. One baby on the way again. Woo. I'm happy for her.
* I don't have MTV on the television on my room. Duh. Sucks the life out of me. Won't be able to catch the live fitss tonight.

* I finished reading "My Little Blue Dress" by Bruno Maddox. Its a funny memoir about a woman who was born on the January 1, 1900 in a far-flung area of Murberry in England. Its funny because the of the british humor used which I can't get enough of. Haha. There is a strong writer-to-reader relationship. And if you have read the novel, you will know why. Anyhoos, I'm now on the beginning part of "Go Phish". It is a biographical book by Dave Thompson about the band Phish. Woo.

* I watched Georgia Rule earlier. I cried at the end. Garrett Hedlund is hot.

P.S: Someone posted from the Strokes Community, I think its whitestroke, mentioning the Shin restauran-- the resto in L.A which is partly owned by Julian C. alongside Mark Ronson & many others. Woo. Fun.

yo. check those abs.

i'm procastinating again.
i think.

this is my 2nd day routine of abs-forming exercise and so far i've been sweating like crazy.
nothing good around.
i wasn't able to watch rage.

i can't wait for monday to come. imma go to school and see mah friends again. woot.



You must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world in order to understand your own.
- Annie, Nanny Diaries

It struck me. Am I really on the right path? coz if not, I just might experience the same
feeling of confusion and disappointment that Annie came through. Rather choosing the courses I believe would fit my abilities like International Studies or Business Trade, I chose Nursing instead. However, I knew long before that I've always wanted to be part of the health care world. I've always wanted to become a Doctor but seems to me that I will not be a good one anyway. How I wish that this decision of mine would result into a bigger realization on the latter path of its phase. The problem is, the immersion into an unfamiliar world doesn't always result into a thorough understanding of one's own world. Most of the time, it results to regret, insanity and failure. What could possibly happen to me? All I know is that, right now, there is no turning back. I need to continue what I've started. I need to learn to come out of my comfort zone. I will face this unfamiliar world alone.

The morning spelt disaster from the moment I woke up. Dizzy and can barely stand up from the scent of deep of sleep, I stumbled on the 4th step after having gone out of the bed. Turns out that Mom had left early for a friend's mom birthday party. She went with Tita Fely. Dad asked me for an early morning errand at the hardware. It was drizzling the whole time of my walk, which increased the burden of carrying some 5 kilo stuffo needed for the grinder. Imagine carrying those shitloads without having eaten breakfast and taken a bath. Bugger all. Since Mom was out, I was the one who did all the cooking and cleaning. It was not really that bad at all. I like helping my Mom. I do all the house works with all sincerity. Its just that the whole day promised me utter boredom. And I still need to return the dvd's I've rented from the mall. Take note, that I'm broke. Totally broke.

Huh. Sleepless, long nights. I would have to sleep early this evening. I don't want to wake up lightheaded again.


-There's this rumor about John Mayer dating Jennifer Aniston. Iww. John's turning into a resident hollywood "fawker"?

- Coldplay's new album excites me. I've only listened to the first single and two other tracks but I haven't really got the time to check out the other ones. And I'm lovin the album art of Viva La Vida. I missed those guys. Specially, Guy!
- Prince Caspian is hot!


Yeah boy. Nagkalat na naman kami ng lagim ni Karen sa jologs. We returned the dvd's I've rented two days ago.
Then, we checked out the booksale. Wah. Inside a random magazine, I left post-it note saying, "I bet that you look good on the dancefloor". Haha:) Hella fun. We ate popcorns while observing the people walking around the mall.
Checked out the cool CD's on the record store. Surprisingly, I saw some albums of artists that I thought wouldn't make it in the local stores, say: The Holloways, The Cinematics, Duffy, Cold War Kids and Athlete. Wow.

We went to this new bookstore at Building B and they have magazines that really got me bouncing like shit:

- Q's 21st Anniversary Issue (Limited Edition)
- Rocksound: with Ville Valo of HIM as cover
- MOJO: with Pink Floyd and Blondie cover on the other
- UNCUT: Robert Plant on the cover

dude! i'm broke! totally. HHHEEELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!

(no subject)


He's always been into music. Remember him from the show, "Make me a Supermodel"? 
He's adorable.

tired eyes and open books...

Finally, I was able to watch Casanova last Saturday. It made me think about Heath Ledger in heaven with angels. Young, talented, charismatic, promising and has so much to offer. 
*tear falls* 
*wipes it away*
I still have Michael Pitt though.

WHERE THE HELL IS COLDPLAY RIGHT NOW? in the studio recording a new album?

Due to increasing boredom and uninterest with the new books in my shelf, I decided to reread Olivia Goldsmith's Bad Boy. Technically, I am bored. The book is tastefully entertaining but doesn't excite nor provoke my thoughts. All the other new books I have here are either of bad book cover or a story that doesn't interests me. I think I need a trip to the booksale store, ASAP. I need good books. Any recommendations?

Anyhoos. I watched Wild Things 3 with my parents and my aunt yesterday. Even before the move started, I knew that the movie contains some explicit content. Some things I should not see, be seeing, and have seen. The movie, I suppose, was rated-18. And hell yes, I'm 17. It was pretty awkward watching those "rock n' roll" scenes when you're watching with your parents. It was the most uneasy feeling of all. The girls there were lesbians. And the girl portraying the role of Elena Sandoval was surprisingly, the filipino-irish actress Sandra McCoy. Sandra McCoy was the dirty pop girl in the N'Sync's "Pop" video. She is also engaged to Jared Padalecki of the TV series Supernatural.
I found out about her when I looked up Jared's online bio zillions of years ago when I used to fancy him. Nah, just thought about writing it here. Sandra's no big deal.

I'M BACK. And I know that nobody cares.

After a long break. 

I've travelled back and forth on the land I came from.
I met old family friends.
I watched the sun as it rose and set, several times.
I picked some shells on the beach.
I met a dog named, Paula.



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